Well, Well, Well…
Did we have a better week than last week? Yes. Was it a good week? No. A big, fat NO.
The Good
Another week, another Kamario Taylor victory. This is a Kamario Taylor podcast, pure and simple. I am probably the second-biggest Kamario guy behind BFW. He is so damn much fun to watch, and this Mississippi State team is an absolute blast. Like I said, we’re going to get burned at some point, but until then, we’re riding with our guy.
Bama did what we thought they would do. That team is really fucking good, and I hate it.
Also, I keep calling Beamer a goob, and Saturday was the most goob performance of all time. LaNorris was fun, and now he is not. Dylan Stewart was out here punching guys like he was a character in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! South Carolina is getting dangerously close to becoming a permanent bet-against team. The Gamecocks are officially on quit watch.
That’s it. That’s all the good we have.
Except for Georgia. Them Dawgs are fucking hell. Chris Cole is a freak.
The Bad
Woooooooof.
What a brutal break we took in the Texas game. Tennessee was absolute ass on offense all day, and Texas basically gave up the final drive. That game never felt like Tennessee could win, which makes not covering even more fucking painful.
Not covering this spread is why Steve Sarkisian is a fraud and a criminal. He is 0-6 against the spread on the road over the last two years. We can no longer trust Texas on the road. And if I ever try to get you to bet on Texas on the road again, you have my permission to tar and feather me in the streets.
Insert Star Wars “It’s a Trap!” meme here.
That was a trap.
Vegas said Florida was the favorite, and we said, “Nah, we’re going to trust our eyes.”
WELL, I GUESS I NEED GLASSES, BECAUSE MY EYES LIED.
The Florida offense is a juggernaut and apparently cannot stop scoring. I think Jadan Baugh just scored again, actually.
Trinidad fought his ass off, but he just didn’t have enough help. Their defense isn’t good enough to get them to the playoffs, in my opinion, and I hate that for Trinidad because he might be the most fun player in college football.
And then there’s Lincoln Riley.
Why the fuck did I bet on that bum, coward, ultimate fluffer? Yes, Oregon hadn’t inspired much confidence over the last couple of games, but LINCOLN HASN’T INSPIRED CONFIDENCE IN TEN YEARS!
USC and Lincoln are the biggest pretenders in college football. What a disgrace Lincoln is to the sport.
Oh, and that hit on Dante Moore was fucking dirty. That dude should be banned.
Here’s the other wild part of this game. Yes, Dylan Raiola is a Buford legend and has been an okay college quarterback. But Dante Moore got knocked out when the game was still close and winnable for USC, and they STILL couldn’t win.
That tells you everything you need to know about dry-ass-brisket-cooking Lincoln Riley.
Saturday’s Picks
All picks are for entertainment and informational purposes only.
All game lines come from DraftKings (Sponsor this Blog please) https://www.draftkings.com/
Alabama at Mississippi State
Mississippi State (+5.5), O/U 59.5 | Kickoff 12:00 PM ABC
Davis Wade Stadium, Starkville, MS
Did you really think this game wouldn’t be on the card?
As I said, this is a Kamario Taylor podcast. We ride until we die with our boy.
Noon kickoff. Cowbells ringing. Starkville calling me home like a frosty beer at a tailgate at 9:30 AM after setting up the tent.
Is this probably dumb? Sure. But I’ve been given access to the greatest sports gambling model ever built, and it backs me on this one. For safety reasons, I cannot tell you what it’s called. It’s so powerful that Vegas would black-bag me and make me disappear if they found out.
So we ride with our dawg Kamario and the Bulldogs.
And wouldn’t it be hilarious if Alabama lost to Mississippi State the week before the Georgia-Bama game? Imagine the chaos. The entire state of Alabama might shut down.
The Pick: Mississippi State +5.5
Florida at Missouri
Missouri (+5.5), O/U 57.5 | Kickoff 3:30 PM ABC
Memorial Stadium, Columbia, MO
This feels like a letdown spot for the Gators. Some people might call this chasing our losses, but we’re going to trust history and the numbers.
Missouri is 1-5 against ranked teams under Eli since 2024. To make matters worse, the Tigers are 6-13 in those games since 2022. And when you look at the ranked teams they’ve actually beaten, you find yourself asking, “Wait, that team was ranked?”
Missouri also hasn’t beaten an FBS team that finished with a winning record since 2024.
We’re going to trust history and believe the Gators don’t have a letdown in them. The model agrees, too. It thinks this line is way off and that Florida should be favored by double digits.
Mizzou has had its chances against good teams, but the results speak for themselves. Give me the Gators to keep rolling.
I also don’t hate the over if you don’t wanna take a side.
The Pick: Florida -5.5
Kentucky at South Carolina
South Carolina (-3), O/U 53.5 | Kickoff 4:15 PM SEC Network
Williams-Brice Stadium, Columbia, SC
We’re staying in Columbia for this one, just the Columbia where a bad football team plays for a goober of a coach.
Actually, that doesn’t narrow it down much, considering it applies to both schools based in Columbia.
Anyway, on to the Gamecocks.
As I said earlier, this team is on quit watch. The walls are closing in on Beamer, and they’re closing quickly. South Carolina spent a lot of money to keep LaNorris and Dylan Stewart around. Well, Stewart isn’t playing, and LaNorris has been playing so poorly that he might as well not be.
Kentucky has been better than I expected this season. I know road dawgs haven’t exactly been great this year, but the model agrees with me here. It thinks the wrong team is favored.
South Carolina has looked like a mess, and I don’t see much reason to trust them laying points. Give me the Wildcats and the points.
The Pick: Kentucky +3
Miami at Clemson
Clemson (+16.5), O/U 47.5 | Kickoff 7:30 PM ABC
Memorial Stadium, Clemson, SC
We’re staying in South Carolina. Oh, look! Another school with a goober at head coach.
I think Clemson stinks. They’ve had some chances to beat other stinky teams, but let’s not pretend that makes them good. Their offense is dreadful, and their defense is mid as hell.
Miami, on the other hand, has looked like an absolute wagon outside of that one game against what turned out to be a pretty damn good Wake Forest team.
There’s a chance we get some bad weather that slows this game down, but there’s also a chance Miami covers this number while scoring only 20 points. Clemson might not score a single point.
I also think Mario wants to put it on Clemson and Dabo. The Tigers have been the kings of the ACC for the better part of the last decade, and Miami would love nothing more than to make a statement in Death Valley.
I don’t trust Clemson to keep this close. Miami has the talent to run away with this game, and I think the Hurricanes make a statement on Saturday night.
The Pick: Miami -16.5
The Fun Part (5-10)
We’re 5-10 in the fun picks. That’s not great. That’s actually pretty fucking terrible.
But we’re not quitters. Unlike some teams I know, we’re going to keep swinging.
- Virginia Tech -3
- Pitt/VT Over 54.5
- Notre Dame -21
- Ohio State -14.5
- Ohio State/Iowa Over 45.5
- Tennessee -7
- Texas Tech -12.5
- Georgia first half -14.5
Let’s get back in the green. Big Hunt is due.
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